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VALHALLA RISING (2009)

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VALHALLA RISING (2009)

Friday, 09 May 2014 14:35

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Written by 

The Buzz:

        A savage warrior, held captive by a Norse chieftain and forced to fight for money, escapes his bonds. Soon after this warrior, deemed One-Eye, and a young slave boy join forces with a group of Christian warriors to journey to the Holy Land. But their vessel is lost at sea, and they find themselves in a new world full of dangers.

 

Life of the Party/Potential Hangovers:

        Valhalla Rising is a strange movie.         To the point where I have to combine our “positives” & “negatives” sections, because what some people will really enjoy, others will really hate.

        Remember that part near the end of Apocalypse Now, when everything gets really trippy and takes on a “stream of consciousness” narrative? Valhalla Rising is pretty much like that for a full 93 minutes. To me, everything that's done in this film is to set up and maintain an atmosphere of tension and suspense. A combination of creative camera work, and nearly complete lack of dialogue, make you the viewer almost as uncomfortable and wary of what's going on as the characters on screen.

        If you saw the title of this film and expected Viking fights and swordplay, you'll be disappointed. Instead its a lot of people sitting/walking/staring into the distance, while mood music plays. It's slow and plodding, all in its mission to set up suspense.

        Beyond that there's really not a lot to say about Valhalla Rising. It's a film that you'll either really enjoy for its aesthetic qualities, or hate for its snail's pace and lack of action & excitement.

 

The Vibe: Lazy Afternoon

        Unlike most films we recommend, Valhalla Rising isn't really appropriate for most group settings, as its pacing will lead to everyone to start paying attention to...pretty much anything else. I've seen this film twice now; the first time I was so drunk I could barely move (due to it being a long weekend during college when Ben “The Pantsless Dynamo” showed up), and the second time while sitting around completely sober. And honestly the first situation was the better experience, since the stream of consciousness storytelling and drunkenness kind of go hand-in-hand. So find your favorite drink, pour some out (responsibly of course), and give Valhalla Rising a shot.

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About Us

Tanked Matinee is the place to go for good drinking movies. What do we mean by that? Simply speaking, we evaluate and recommend entertainment media based on how much fun it is to watch with friends on the sofa and a cold beer in hand.

Everyone knows "The Godfather" is a great movie, but is it as great to drink with as "Roadhouse?" We can appreciate "Citizen Kane" as a masterpiece of cinema, but is it as good a centerpiece for your party as "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?"

Tanked Matinee appreciates film as art, but when you're kicking back on Friday night with a tall Rum & Coke, you're not looking for art, man, you want to be entertained. We're here to recommend the best movies for your night in, whether it's a big party, small get-together, or just a quiet night alone with a bottle of wine or three.

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