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What the Film?

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VALHALLA RISING (2009)

Friday, 09 May 2014 14:35
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Written by

The Buzz:

        A savage warrior, held captive by a Norse chieftain and forced to fight for money, escapes his bonds. Soon after this warrior, deemed One-Eye, and a young slave boy join forces with a group of Christian warriors to journey to the Holy Land. But their vessel is lost at sea, and they find themselves in a new world full of dangers.

 


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YETI: A (GAY) LOVE STORY

Thursday, 13 February 2014 23:54
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Written by

     In a strangely modern-day version of 1985, a group of horny, boozed-up college kids heads out for a camping trip, only to become the targets of a mysterious cult, an obsessive big-game hunter, an assortment of sex criminals, various backwoods freaks, and the titular Yeti. Despite the parade of slasher-movie cliches involved, the title should probably tip you off that this is no ordinary horror movie. In fact, Yeti: A (Gay) Love Story is a schlocky horror-comedy produced by Troma Entertainment for a reported budget of around two hundred bucks, but it contains surprising entertainment value beyond what might seem like a one-joke premise.


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ZOMBIE ASS: TOILET OF THE DEAD (2012)

Saturday, 08 February 2014 20:25
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Written by

The Buzz:

 

     There has got to be a joke here about “buzz” and flies and shit. You’ll have to put those pieces together and make it, though, because my brain is still recovering from watching this film. A Japanese comedy horror film that sees a group of friends attacked by zombies controlled by giant sentient tape worms. Throw in some mad scientist, literal toilet humor, and flying by fart propulsion and you start to understand the absolute insanity of this picture. 

 

 


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MUTANT GIRLS SQUAD (2010)

Saturday, 01 February 2014 18:38
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Written by

The Buzz:

 

     Rin is a nerdy Japanese school girl who everyone picks on until her 16th birthday when her heritage is revealed that she is a descendant of a race of mutants who each display unique powers. Forced to defend herself from a population who doesn’t understand her self she is rescued by others of her kind who wish to take revenge on humanity. 

 


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ESCAPE FROM TOMORROW (2013)

Saturday, 21 December 2013 20:19
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Written by

The Buzz:

 

     The first film from Randy Moore, the picture follows a family on their final day of vacation in Disney World theme park. Odd events surround the family in a sort of surreal psycho-horror manner that, coupled with the monochrome images and low moral character of the protagonists,  serves to maintain an unsettling - yet oddly amusing - atmosphere for the audience. As the family tries to both ignore and finally make sense of the disturbing things events transpiring around them they realize that even in a place like Disneyworld… “bad things can happen anywhere.”

 

 


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THE AMERICAN ASTRONAUT (2001)

Tuesday, 17 December 2013 20:38
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Written by

THE BUZZ

     The frontman of Billy Nayer Show (to quote Wikipedia, a New York musical group of questionable genre) made a truly bizarre monochrome quasi-space western musical noir comedy drama adventure. With original music by the band organically fit into the (for lack of a better word) movie, this flick provides viewers with a surreal, almost nonsensical, definitely unusual experience for those curious enough to watch it and lucky enough to find it. It’s currently on Netflix, but who knows how long that could be for. I’m a huge fan of strange movies; this is the weirdest fucking movie I’ve seen since Taxidermia. I’ll attempt to summarize, just so I can say I tried: Samuel Curtis (a guy who’s a lot like Lone Star from Space Balls) gets hired to take The Boy Who Actually Saw a Woman’s Breast from Jupiter, the Planet of Men to Venus, the Planet of Women so that he can mate with them. All the while being chased by his arch-nemesis Professor Hess, a thrill-killer who can’t kill Curtis because Hess has an unspecified problem with Curtis. Yeah, that’s the best I can do. It’s so goddamned weird.


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MAKKHI (2012)

Saturday, 14 December 2013 18:47
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Written by

The Buzz:

 

     Jani is a young man who lives across the street from the beautiful Bindu with whom he’s in love with. While Bindu reciprocates Jani’s feelings, she plays hard to get. Eventually wealthy playboy and gangster, Sudeep, sets his eyes on her. Realizing that Bindu only has eyes for Jani he murders Jani in order to steal her away. Jani is then reincarnated as a fly bent on revenge and must protect his love from the evil Sudeep. 

 

 


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ANTIVIRAL (2012)

Friday, 20 September 2013 18:12
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Written by

The Buzz:

        In some incredibly unhappy part of our supposed future, celebrity-worship has reached what I would normally call epidemic proportions, but considering the theme of this film that would be unfortunate. Fans who wish to become closer to their favorite celebrities will now pay exorbitant amounts of money to be injected with diseases from those celebrities' bodies. Our main character (calling him the protagonist just doesn't feel right with me) works for an esteemed clinic providing these services, and also makes money by stealing the various diseases and smuggling them out by infecting himself, so that they may be sold by piracy groups. Unfortunate events ensue.

 

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About Us

Tanked Matinee is the place to go for good drinking movies. What do we mean by that? Simply speaking, we evaluate and recommend entertainment media based on how much fun it is to watch with friends on the sofa and a cold beer in hand.

Everyone knows "The Godfather" is a great movie, but is it as great to drink with as "Roadhouse?" We can appreciate "Citizen Kane" as a masterpiece of cinema, but is it as good a centerpiece for your party as "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?"

Tanked Matinee appreciates film as art, but when you're kicking back on Friday night with a tall Rum & Coke, you're not looking for art, man, you want to be entertained. We're here to recommend the best movies for your night in, whether it's a big party, small get-together, or just a quiet night alone with a bottle of wine or three.

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