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Sci-fi/Fantasy

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RARE EXPORTS: A CHRISTMAS TALE (2010)

Saturday, 21 December 2013 18:35
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Written by

The Buzz:

     Every culture has a slightly different version of the Santa Claus story, for instance in America it is simply a fat Tim Allen that has many memorable Christmas adventures.  In other cultures Santa was an incarnation of a real person such as St. Nikolas in Germany and he even travels with an assistant Black Peter.  In this Finnish fantasy/horror film they go with the OLD Santa Claus story, where Santa was a demon of sorts that would take children that were “naughty” and devour them.  On the surface that sounds like a pretty awesome concept for a story….because it is!  So sit back and enjoy this Christmas tale and remember….Santa’s always watching…always…

 

 

 

 

 


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THOR: THE DARK WORLD (2013)

Wednesday, 18 December 2013 00:30
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Written by

The Buzz

     It has been two years since the Destroyer was sent to earth by the Jotun and the Bifrost to Asgard was destroyed. Things seem to be back to "normal" as Heimdall watches the newly rebuilt Bifrost and Thor, God of Thunder, is fighting once again to bring the nine realms back into peace. However, the time draws near to the Convergance, a phenomena where the nine realms align and a great power stirs. Malekith, the leader of the once powerful Dark Elves, has bided his time for 5000 years and is now ready to claim a super weapon known as the Aether and plunge the realms into eternal darkness.


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THE HOBBIT (1977)

Tuesday, 10 December 2013 23:56
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Written by

THE BUZZ

 

     You know that new series that Peter is Jackson is making to serve as the prequel to the wildly successful Braveheart series he did a couple years ago? Well, turns out this new, highly extrapolated trilogy about Oompa-Loompas fighting the dragon from Eragon existed before the Braveheart series! That's right, it's not a new prequel, it's actually based on a musical cartoon television special from the seventies! Tolkein fans, you have already heard of this movie, so you can skip the rest of this article and head straight to the comment section and let me know how angry you are right now. For those of you who didn't know about this film, it's a hauntingly beautiful animated not-quite-serious-movie length masterpiece. It's pretty much an earth tone, all bass musical revisit of Tolkein's The Hobbit. It was compiled by the same production company as did The Last Unicorn, so if you've seen that, you at least know you're going to get the same sort of thoughtful, quality viewing material (I assume, since I've never seen The Last Unicorn). I personally was raised watching this film and to believe that tiny dudes stabbing giant, mincing spiders is acceptable entertainment for children. Your mileage may vary.


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BREEDERS (1986)

Saturday, 23 November 2013 21:43
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Written by

The Buzz:

 

     An alien crashes in to earth accompanied by a what appears to be Two-Face reincarnated as a woman… and a stripper. Crashing in the courtyard of an all girl’s school and setting up a lair in what appears to be the abandoned sex dungeon of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, the alien begins abducting the students of the school with the intent of using them to reproduce to take over the planet!

 

 


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PETER PAN (1953)

Sunday, 10 November 2013 22:08
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Written by

The Buzz:

 

     Visited in the night by a mysterious boy… the Darling family suffers as their children are mysteriously kidnapped… the kids, however, have the adventure of a lifetime! Guided by the enigmatic Peter Pan and his troublesome band of Lost Boys; Wendy, Michael, and John must face down pirates, man-eating crocodiles, and angry Indians to eventually get home. 

 


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DONNIE DARKO (2001)

Wednesday, 30 October 2013 21:13
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Written by

The Buzz:

 

     A young troubled teen (Jake Gyllenhaal) narrowly escapes death by following an “imaginary” friend named Frank out of the house one evening. Frank warns Donnie that in 28 days the world will end and Donnie begins seeing visions that force him to question reality and man's place in space and time. By the end of the film Donnie realizes he must make a tough choice and sacrifice in order to put right all he's done.

 


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Dungeons & Dragons 3: The Book of Vile Darkness (2012)

Friday, 04 October 2013 02:25
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Written by

The Buzz:

     The series of movies based on the classic Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game is a franchise that, while filled with potential, could be called underwhelming at best. The much-maligned first film in 2000, followed by a mostly-forgotten TV sequel in 2005, attempted to take the source material and turn it into something more palatable for general audiences, resulting in watered-down, cliché generi-fantasy on par with a ‘90s kids’ movie. The third film, The Book of Vile Darkness, takes its name from an obscure artifact within and supplemental book for the actual D&D game, and as a result is both more mature in content and much more grounded in the game’s mythos and culture than either of its predecessors. If you’re a gamer who’s been waiting for a “proper” D&D adaptation, then this is the film for you.


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NIGHT WATCH (2004)

Friday, 27 September 2013 16:07
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Written by

The Buzz:

        Superhuman “Others” live among us, split between the forces of Light and Darkness. Long ago during a great battle between the two forces, a truce was struck so that neither force could directly influence the mortal world. Each side would patrol the other; the Light setup the Night Watch, and the side of Dark set up the Day Watch, each making sure the other didn't break the truce.

 

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About Us

Tanked Matinee is the place to go for good drinking movies. What do we mean by that? Simply speaking, we evaluate and recommend entertainment media based on how much fun it is to watch with friends on the sofa and a cold beer in hand.

Everyone knows "The Godfather" is a great movie, but is it as great to drink with as "Roadhouse?" We can appreciate "Citizen Kane" as a masterpiece of cinema, but is it as good a centerpiece for your party as "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?"

Tanked Matinee appreciates film as art, but when you're kicking back on Friday night with a tall Rum & Coke, you're not looking for art, man, you want to be entertained. We're here to recommend the best movies for your night in, whether it's a big party, small get-together, or just a quiet night alone with a bottle of wine or three.

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