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Mindhunters (2004)

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Mindhunters (2004)

Monday, 15 June 2015 06:08

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Written by 

The Buzz:

A party of potential FBI profilers embark on a final test to make it into the Bureau, but of course it’s not a movie unless one of them is secretly a SERIAL KILLER! In a modern re-telling (well…kind of) of “12 Little Indians,” out group of…characters (not quite heroes) must figure out which one of them is the Puppet Master aka Bad Guy before their evil plan ends in all of their deaths.

 

Life of the Party:

There’s always something about mystery/thriller films that entrance the viewer. A classic “whodunit” will always please in one way or another, and Mindhunters will certainly keep you guessing.

 

Potential Hangovers:

Let’s get this out of the way now, Mindhunters is not a “good” movie. It is a movie of super-fast edits & cuts, and leaps of faith/plot/common-sense that hopes to outpace your mind fast enough that you don’t question it too closely.

Editing aside, the plot points of the film make no proper sense. Trying not to spoil too much, there’s a bit where the latest leap-of-faith depends on them finding blood under a victim’s fingernails, proving that they struggled with their attacker before they died. Only problem: WE JUST SAW THEM DIE WITH ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STRUGGLE! Literally zero fist-fights up until this point in the film, and yet we’re expected to just accept this plot point and move ahead. And there’s many other points like this throughout the film that we’re just expected to accept, but I’ll leave that for you to discover (if you really want) on your own.

But honestly the biggest sin of Mindhunters is its failure as a “thriller.” Mystery/thriller films like this depend on two reactions from the audience (in my non-experienced opinion). First, a reaction of “I never expected it to be (insert character name here)!” Second “I TOTALLY should have seen that coming because of (x,y,z)!” None of that applies here. At the final reveal, the reasons/evidence/whatever given for why “x” is the bad buy could literally apply to any character in the film, which completely negates both of the mandatory principles of a thriller. It leaves the ending feeling flat and unexciting, and left me feeling maybe a bit cheated. Which of course sets the film up for a second “out-of-left-field” ending, which the film decided not to take, meaning once the reveal takes place, you can completely tune out to no ill-effect.

 

The Vibe: Lazy Afternoon

Mindhunters is really more of a “background-noise” film, but without enough visual excitement to make it applicable to any sort of party setting. If you want to kill just shy of two hours and challenge yourself to figuring out the zero-sense ending before the ending, then this fits the bill. Otherwise, leave this one in the past.

P.S. Looking at IMDB, it’s almost certain that this is the film that killed Val Kimer’s career. Honestly I can’t find a single large-release since this that I recognized (except Deju Vu in ’06, which I don’t believe anyone counts as a success).

 

Plus/Minus:

+ Mystery!

-   Which makes no goddamn sense

+ One liners!

-   Which really haven’t been much fun since Hot Fuzz

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More in this category: « OLDBOY (2013)

About Us

Tanked Matinee is the place to go for good drinking movies. What do we mean by that? Simply speaking, we evaluate and recommend entertainment media based on how much fun it is to watch with friends on the sofa and a cold beer in hand.

Everyone knows "The Godfather" is a great movie, but is it as great to drink with as "Roadhouse?" We can appreciate "Citizen Kane" as a masterpiece of cinema, but is it as good a centerpiece for your party as "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?"

Tanked Matinee appreciates film as art, but when you're kicking back on Friday night with a tall Rum & Coke, you're not looking for art, man, you want to be entertained. We're here to recommend the best movies for your night in, whether it's a big party, small get-together, or just a quiet night alone with a bottle of wine or three.

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