The follow on to The Protector (there given a glowing review by Boman), once again somebody has had a large enough break from sanity to steal an elephant from Tony Jaa. But instead of a woman and an old man (who were totally evil and deserved it), the bad guy this time is RZA (thereby negating one of Boman's "double bonus" points he gave the first film) and his crew of bloodthirsty pit fighters straight out of Bloodsport. Violence and acupuncture wielding pixie-girls ensue.
Channing Tatum plays a Capitol Policeman who's dream job is getting into the Secret Service. But on the same day he's denied the opportunity, mercenaries take over the White House, trapping him, his daughter, hostages, and President Jamie Foxx inside. Now it's up to Tatum to save the day in this action-thriller!
Arnold (do you really need to know which one?) stars in the third installment of the Terminator series; a movie that debuted a month before he announced his candidacy for governorship in the California recall election of 2003 (do you really need to know if he won?), and I assume that he was trying to earn cash for the campaign, because this film does not deviate or try anything new. Features expansion on the most bastardized storyline outside of the Zelda series, lots of very cool explosions, and tons of self-referential humor. Yes, it's the entry where both the machines and the scriptwriting become self-aware.
Michael Caine stars as an ex-military widower attempting to avenge his best friend's death in this gritty revenge drama. Caine is the titular Harry Brown, who lives in a rapidly deteriorating district in London, rife with crime and bored, aggressive punks who attack people for no reason. The elderly Harry decides to take justice into his own hands after his last friend gets killed by said bored punks. What follows is an awesome intersection of brutal revenge and class war raging in the streets; a stellar film that is at once gripping realism and broad-level allegory. And also damn fun to watch.
THE LIFE OF THE PARTY
There are lots of movies coming out showing aging actors doing badass stuff you tend to see younger action actors doing, but they typically try to play it more tongue-in-cheek and comic booky. The end result is the same slow-motion flex-fests, but with more wrinkles. Harry Brown ain't got time for that new-school shit. Harry looks tired as hell the entire movie. Caine plays a talented ex-operative very well. He's relatable and incredibly competent, but definitely too old to be doing this stuff. So it adds a completely different type of suspense to the mix. Additionally, this is just an objectively well-made film. The stellar script is acted very well by good actors, which is never a given in a quasi-action movie. The music is excellent, and it's all shot and arranged very well. And for those of you who like a bit of seamlessly integrated social commentary in your action films, this one will do it for you.
We tend to put party movies on this site for those looking for nothing but laughs, but frankly, this movie is pretty grim. It's got brutally realistic action along the lines of the Bourne series, but is way more straightfaced. It's the type of movie where you really can't tell if the good guy is going to win or not, and the environment is incredibly tense throughout its whole runtime. It is full of action, but I'd also say it's got way more dialog than anything you'd typically call action. So I guess on the whole, this is a pretty dour film that isn't one you cheer along with. I'd say it's badass in the same way Breaking Bad is badass. Take that as you will.
THE ATMOSPHERE: Man Cave, Deep Thoughts
Okay, after hearing all the reservations I had on Harry Brown in terms of it not being the most uplifting of films? That is not whatsoever saying this wasn't a fun movie. It was amazing. It isn't the type of film where explosions happen in slow motion. It's the type of film that is fun that's fun because it's so gritty. The dark, hopelessness just makes Harry look more awesome when he overcomes it, which happens frequently enough to be satisfying. Sure, it's got subtext and is pretty morally grey for a revenge movie, but the bottom line is that it is a really enjoyable, badass film if you have the time to pay attention to it. I'd say put it on as your first movie of the night.
Once when someone gets shot/stabbed
Twice when Harry Gets injured
(Hard Mode) Take a shot every time fire shows up on screen
YES, THIS IS AN INSANE CLOWN POSSE MOVIE. NO, DO NOT CLOSE THE WINDOW. Just bear with me. I know what it looks like. I, too, was dubious when my friend Drew recommended it to me. And he, too, told me to bear with him. I am so glad I did. On the back of the box of this movie, it says that it is for juggalos exclusively(ICP fans, for those who don't know the parlance), but upon viewing it, that is wholly not the case. What it is, in fact, is an uproariously self-referential crime comedy where Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J of ICP (I hate that I know their names now) play a hardboiled cop and a crime lord in conflict in the streets of New York City. The story is mundane, but the constant fourth-wall-breaking dialogue and unsubtle gags make for an excellent, genuinely funny film to drink to. Also, it features a cameo of the Misfits, Dolemite (the real one!) and a legitimate actor that you might not expect!
In the near future, humanity is facing its greatest enemy ever, giant monsters, called Kaiju, who make Godzilla look like a level one Pokémon. In response the nations of the world have banded together to create a force of giant robots, called Jaegers, to take on these monsters from the deep. Humanity is on the brink of extinction, and it's down to the final battle between monster and machine.
In this Indonesian film, an elite SWAT team raids a tenement building run by a ruthlessly violent mobster and his gang. But things quickly spiral out of control, and soon the team are trapped, and have to fight off the hordes of heavily armed gang members to escape with their lives.
Have you ever been kept up at night, wishing someone would reboot the Sniper with Tom Berenger franchise? Yeah, neither have I, but someone went and did it anyway. When a Marine's entire team is killed by an enemy sniper in the Congo, he sets himself to finding their killer, and uncovering the...sinister (?) plot behind their demise.
Ip Man (directed by Wilson Yip and starring Donnie Yen) is a Chinese historical martial arts movie that is based very loosely on the life of Yip Man, the first martial arts grandmaster to teach the style of Wing Chun, and later on teacher of Bruce Lee. The film follows the story of Ip Man and the city of Fo Shan during the Second World War as they battle to hold the city's honour against the invading Japanese.