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YELLOWBRICKROAD (2010)

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YELLOWBRICKROAD (2010)

Friday, 20 December 2013 07:44

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Written by 

The Buzz:

     Have you ever read one of those synopses on Netflix that sounded so freaking amazing and wonderful that you had to see it that instant?  I was recently tricked into this exact situation by the malevolent gods that control that great movie catalog in the sky.   The film was based on an entire town of people just standing up one day and walking into the woods in 1940.  The town numbered slightly over 500 and after a few days law enforcement went down the path and found over 300 people either frozen or horribly mutilated.  Everything was swept under the rug until the Freedom of Information Act allowed some documentarians to get access to the files and this is their journey.  Sounds like an interesting premise right?  Unfortunately that is on the title card that begins the film; below I will discuss what followed.

 

 

 

 

 

Life of the Party:

     The acting is pretty good and the feeling is pretty eerie especially when they start hearing the music that comes from everywhere at once.  People in the group start going crazy and everything falls apart, sound interesting?  Yeah well that brings us to….

 

The Note Says "Please Edit Me Out...."

 

Possible Hangovers:

     It’s just not interesting.  The plot fails to develop past an eerie sense of foreboding that leads to an ultimate climax of….NOTHING!  The movie is basically just some people wandering through the woods going insane in the homicidal nature.  The characters have no development at all; the most interesting thing about each character is in the way they die.  The “horror” effects are pretty stupid; the major effect is a girl getting her leg ripped off, by a normal guy.  The amount of force he uses is barely enough to snap an O-Ring on a GI Joe let alone tear off a human leg.  And lastly the fucking ending was intentionally left vague and unfulfilling by the director so we could draw our own conclusions.  Fuck them!  If I wanted to fucking think about what the fuck YOUR movie was about I would have made the damn thing on my own!  If you could not figure out how to end your shit, write a different script!  Don’t give us some half-assed piece of shit you Fucktard!

 

I like mine Extra Crispy...

 

The Atmosphere (House Party):

     Put this on in the background, get drunk, and make fun of it…please don’t invest too much time in it.

 

Drinking Games:

~Drink while the movie is playing…that is all!

 

*Drops Mic and Leaves*

Read 728 times Last modified on Friday, 20 December 2013 14:41

About Us

Tanked Matinee is the place to go for good drinking movies. What do we mean by that? Simply speaking, we evaluate and recommend entertainment media based on how much fun it is to watch with friends on the sofa and a cold beer in hand.

Everyone knows "The Godfather" is a great movie, but is it as great to drink with as "Roadhouse?" We can appreciate "Citizen Kane" as a masterpiece of cinema, but is it as good a centerpiece for your party as "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?"

Tanked Matinee appreciates film as art, but when you're kicking back on Friday night with a tall Rum & Coke, you're not looking for art, man, you want to be entertained. We're here to recommend the best movies for your night in, whether it's a big party, small get-together, or just a quiet night alone with a bottle of wine or three.

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