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CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011)

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CONAN THE BARBARIAN (2011)

Thursday, 19 July 2012 13:37

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Written by 

The Buzz:

     A remake of a movie, based on a series of comics, Conan The Barbarian follows a Sumerian barbarian whose father and village are all killed by an evil conquerer, and who sets out on a quest for revenge. But things aren't quite so simple, as the bad guys are trying to reassemble an ancient, magical mask that will give them necromantic powers with which to take over the world.

 

Life of the Party:

     Um....well.....young child Conan was kind of cool....maybe....uh...

 

Potential Hangovers:

     This movie was just awful. And this from a guy who watches Sci-Fi Originals and The Asylum films for fun! The story makes next to no sense, nothing is ever explained, the action scenes make no sense and are just dull, the plot is incredibly old and cliché, everything about this film is just unexciting and dull. I liked the old Conan the Barbarian film; it was part of what made Arnold Schwarzenegger the action star he became, it was exciting, it was epic in its story and characters. Jason Momoa is NOT Arnold Schwarzenegger, and trying to pass him off as such felt as awkward as using Orlando Bloom in a Rocky remake.

 

The Vibe:

     This movie is not suitable for viewing in any situation. Solo, it was boring. As a group, it would be boring. As a party movie, it would just be stupid. I'm sure even copious amounts of drinking wouldn't make Conan the Barbarian (2011) watchable, earning this movie a slot in the “Profoundly Horrible” category.

 

Plus/Minus:

- Just plain goddamn awful

Read 1226 times Last modified on Saturday, 19 January 2013 21:24

About Us

Tanked Matinee is the place to go for good drinking movies. What do we mean by that? Simply speaking, we evaluate and recommend entertainment media based on how much fun it is to watch with friends on the sofa and a cold beer in hand.

Everyone knows "The Godfather" is a great movie, but is it as great to drink with as "Roadhouse?" We can appreciate "Citizen Kane" as a masterpiece of cinema, but is it as good a centerpiece for your party as "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?"

Tanked Matinee appreciates film as art, but when you're kicking back on Friday night with a tall Rum & Coke, you're not looking for art, man, you want to be entertained. We're here to recommend the best movies for your night in, whether it's a big party, small get-together, or just a quiet night alone with a bottle of wine or three.

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