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ATLANTIC RIM (2013)

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ATLANTIC RIM (2013)

Tuesday, 23 July 2013 21:15

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Written by 

 

The Buzz:

A great and ancient evil dwells deep within the waters of the Atlantic. And it hungers for oil rigs.

     Ok, so that doesn't really sound evil. I'm going to try it again. In a world, inhabited by monsters who like oil. No, that's bad too. ok.. one last shot here: Brought to you by the Asylum, Atlantic Rim is NOT A RIP OFF OF PACIFIC RIM. See, Pacific rim is about monsters in the Pacific that have to be battled with giant robots. This movie, however, is about monsters in the Atlantic that have to be battled by giant robots that were ORIGINALLY made for search and rescue...Totally not for fighting monsters.



The Life of the Party:

     I have watched a great many Asylum movies, both their originals and knock offs, and can tell you with certainty that this not the blockbuster it is trying to emulate. That being said, there is a ton of entertainment to be gained from watching this movie with your friends. When it comes to normal positives, this movie does not have many. The real positives come from watching something so poorly made, or awfully acted that you can't help but laugh.

 

Transmorphers

"Yup... I saw this.. I'm waiting for the crossover movie"

    For example: If you are the pilot of a giant mechanical battle mech, and suddenly the oxygen supply is cut off, you are not found ON THE GROUND in the next scene still quasi-conscious with your mech nowhere to be seen. I mean, that giant bastard HAS to be somewhere near by.

     For years now, I have had a dream of one day animating for the Sci-fi channel or even The Asylum. And every year that regular life gets in my way, I say “DAMNIT ALL! I’ll never be good enough to do it”. Then I watch movies like Atlantic Rim, or even Mega Python vs. Gatoroid and I think that I’m actually pretty close to achieving that goal. Like, all I need to do is mention that I once animated something when I’m sitting around at a Denny’s and some plastered dude the next booth over will be all “ for real???!! When can you start on my film: Arachnoclops vs. Piranhatron?”   And of course I’ll accept that job! Do you know how long I’ve been piecing together the concept art for Arachnoclops?

aracnoclops

 "Not very long as it turns out"

 

Potential hangovers:

    
     There really doesn’t seem to be much of a reason for this section, what with my glowing review just now. As you’ve probably come to guess, Here at Tanked Matinee, we actually enjoy low budget, or poorly constructed movies. After all, not every movie can have a huge budget or all star cast. However, while the Asylum has made a name for themselves as being the knockoff kings, I would actually expect a little bit more from them.


427px-2HEADEDSHARKATTACKDVD
"I don't know why I just said that..."


     Many of the inconsistencies and problems that show up could have easily been dealt with by having an extra take of the scene (I’m talking just a few seconds of “oops we flubbed that, redo!) or even some better editing after the fact. While the graphics are a bit cheesy and clearly low budget, they get the job done over all, I just wish someone had raised their hand and said “hey, maybe our giant mechs shouldn’t have faces that look like abstract art”.


picasso163"Actual, in-movie rendering of their mechs"

 

 

Actually, I just figured out what would make this movie better. Just imagine Rita Repulsa up on the moon looking down at "This-is-totally New York Guys" and throwing her Magic Wand down to earth. The new heroes have to call on their mystic dinosaur spirit animals to become giant robots and they.....wait... wait a sec.. sorry, I'm thinking this is Power Rangers. Damnit. Moving on. 

The Vibe:  Casual gathering, Sausage fest


     I watched this movie with a small group of friends, and I cannot imagine a situation better suited to its viewing.   Alone, the many mistakes and blunders in this movie would severely piss off any viewer with an IQ above houseplant. However, mix in a few people with a sharp wit that can bounce jokes off each other, and you have a fantastic movie to enjoy.  The plot doesn’t really require you pay attention, and the characters are so clichéd that you probably know most of the lines before they say them.


Plus/Minus


+a few pretty enjoyable action scenes reminiscent of Superhuman Samurai Surfer

+For such a low budget, the graphics aren't awful

-plot? WE ARE ASYLUM AND REQUIRE NO PLOT!

-+the acting/editing are laughably bad, but provide plenty of ammo for roasting


Drinking ideas:


      This one is a toughy, but follow closely on this one…

Drink every time you hear "Nasawww" instead of NASA

Everytime the movie reuses a clip, start a waterfall.

Drink every time a black Chevy is on screen and do NOT stop until it is gone!

Drink every time the scene is clearly a Pacifim Rim knock off



atlantic-rim03-1024x578

Read 1075 times Last modified on Monday, 25 January 2016 01:52

About Us

Tanked Matinee is the place to go for good drinking movies. What do we mean by that? Simply speaking, we evaluate and recommend entertainment media based on how much fun it is to watch with friends on the sofa and a cold beer in hand.

Everyone knows "The Godfather" is a great movie, but is it as great to drink with as "Roadhouse?" We can appreciate "Citizen Kane" as a masterpiece of cinema, but is it as good a centerpiece for your party as "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?"

Tanked Matinee appreciates film as art, but when you're kicking back on Friday night with a tall Rum & Coke, you're not looking for art, man, you want to be entertained. We're here to recommend the best movies for your night in, whether it's a big party, small get-together, or just a quiet night alone with a bottle of wine or three.

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