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Displaying items by tag: blood

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YELLOWBRICKROAD (2010)

Friday, 20 December 2013 07:44

The Buzz:

     Have you ever read one of those synopses on Netflix that sounded so freaking amazing and wonderful that you had to see it that instant?  I was recently tricked into this exact situation by the malevolent gods that control that great movie catalog in the sky.   The film was based on an entire town of people just standing up one day and walking into the woods in 1940.  The town numbered slightly over 500 and after a few days law enforcement went down the path and found over 300 people either frozen or horribly mutilated.  Everything was swept under the rug until the Freedom of Information Act allowed some documentarians to get access to the files and this is their journey.  Sounds like an interesting premise right?  Unfortunately that is on the title card that begins the film; below I will discuss what followed.

 

 

 

THE BAY (2012)

Friday, 20 December 2013 07:26

The Buzz:

     Growing up on the Eastern Shore of Maryland was a unique experience for a young kid; it was boring, but at least there was nothing to do.  This part of Maryland is very different than what most people picture of the state; it is mainly farmland and wetlands.  One of the biggest threats to the way of life there is ecological, because the economy thrives on healthy water.  This film tackles this huge fear in a very plausible and quasi-scientific way.  This is another found footage style film, which seems to be a kick that I am on.  It’s horror in some ways, but it doesn’t really fit any genre 100%.  If you have an hour and a half to kill and want a good way to make the clock speed on, give this film a shot.

 

 

 

 

 

MANIAC (2012)

Friday, 13 December 2013 12:00

The Buzz:

     Shock horror pretty much died in the 80’s, or I should say shock horror of any decent quality at least.  One of the most shocking and disturbing films from that genre is one of Tom Savini’s  greatest works, a little film starring Joe Spinelli called Maniac.  I only discovered recently that one of the most detested films of all time was remade in 2012; basically the same movie with new faces.  Having seen the original and felt dirty for years after doing so, I made the brilliant decision that I gotta watch this one too.  I am glad I did!  I was treated to a well-acted piece of modern shock horror that all fans should see.

 

 

 

 

 

 

WATERSHIP DOWN (1978)

Friday, 15 March 2013 00:00

The Buzz:

     This film is based off of Richard Adams’ 1972 book and is a truly great film and definitely not meant for children.  The story is based around a group of bunnies that when warned leave their warren to travel to their promised land after one of their number has a vision.  Along the way they experience an amazing journey as well as danger, tragic loss and the truest love.  The final showdown with General Woundwort is terrifying and spellbinding at the same time.  This is one of my favorite films of all time and succeeds as animation mainly because of the lack of a Disney stamp. 

 

 

 

TWILIGHT: BREAKING DAWN PART 1 (2011)

Tuesday, 05 March 2013 12:00

The Buzz:

    This is the first of two parts (see Peter Jackson, it can be done) of the final story in the Twilight “saga” and centers around the finalization of Bella and Edward’s relationship.  It begins with their wedding and then they go on a honeymoon and then she gets knocked up and pretty much dies.  There are some preludes to the second part of the story (I guess) and CGI talking wolves and stuff too, but overall it tells a really simple story with a lot of fluff.

 

 

 

 

 

 

PHANTASM (1979)

Thursday, 28 February 2013 12:00

The Buzz:

     Tommy is dead, someone murdered him, but more importantly something is going on in Morningside Mortuary and The Tall Man is behind it.  This eerie little horror flick takes place in a small northern town and is almost surreal and dreamlike in how it tells its tale.  Independent horror fans of all ages need to give this film a shot.

 

NEAR DARK (1987)

Monday, 25 February 2013 02:30

The Buzz:

     We all know that for years vampires have roamed the night in search of a chance at a normal life.  This film is about one of these families and the humans that sought to destroy them.  Well...okay this is just the opposite; in fact it is the story of a family of vampires that bring chaos wherever they go.  As far as vampire films go it is one of the better ones out there and a lot of fun.

SLUGS (1988)

Tuesday, 12 February 2013 00:31


The Buzz:

Based on the Shaun Hutson novel from 1982 (that's right, somebody wrote a book about this idea), Slugs is a classic horror movie in the “extreme close-ups of perfectly normal animals to make them look like terrifying monsters” sub-genre. In this case, swarms of flesh-eating garden slugs, mutated by irresponsible toxic waste dumping (hey, it was the '80s), are crawling up from the sewers to eat people whole like slimy, incredibly slow-moving, easy-to-kill piranha.

Seriously, guys, I swear it's scary.

About Us

Tanked Matinee is the place to go for good drinking movies. What do we mean by that? Simply speaking, we evaluate and recommend entertainment media based on how much fun it is to watch with friends on the sofa and a cold beer in hand.

Everyone knows "The Godfather" is a great movie, but is it as great to drink with as "Roadhouse?" We can appreciate "Citizen Kane" as a masterpiece of cinema, but is it as good a centerpiece for your party as "Santa Clause Conquers the Martians?"

Tanked Matinee appreciates film as art, but when you're kicking back on Friday night with a tall Rum & Coke, you're not looking for art, man, you want to be entertained. We're here to recommend the best movies for your night in, whether it's a big party, small get-together, or just a quiet night alone with a bottle of wine or three.

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