Tanked Matinee's Most Pantsless Man
Well kids, we did it, we blew the whole place up! Fallout 4 was right, war never changes and we have set up a good old fashioned post-apocalyptic future for ourselves. Everyone is out for themselves, scavenging, stealing, fighting, surviving: that’s all that really matters. To one kid though, survival is an everyday struggle made all the easier by his imagination and love for comic books. One comic book in particular; Turbo Rider!
"Blind and deaf after suffering a terrible fever as a baby, young Helen Keller has spent years unable to communicate, leaving her frustrated and occasionally violent. As a last chance before she is institutionalized, her parents contact a school for the blind, which sends half-blind Annie Sullivan to teach Helen. Helen is initially resistant, but Annie gradually forms a bond with her and shows Helen ways of reaching others." Is what Google says when you look up "The Miracle Worker", the original movie about Helen Keller. This is not that movie in the slightest.
Sometimes, the fate of our very existance lies upon the best that we have to offer: The brave, the righteous, the most genius of us all. Sometimes, the fate of our very existance lies upon those who are available on that particular Thursday. In Guardians of the Galaxy, a very awkward group of individuals put aside their differences to form an alliance and fight Ronan the Accuser, a Kree warlord who is bent on the destruction of the planet Xandar and a threat to the whole of civilization.
In a dystopian future, survival means conforming to a new set of social rules. The human population is divided into factions that keep people separate depending on their temperament. In this world, keeping human nature coordinated and separate, the largest inclinations towards anarchy are tempered. Beatrice Prior takes the ritual test that all people must, in order to find out her true place in the civilization. Unfortunately, that test does not work as intended…
In 2009, the Maersk Alabama was boarded and taken over by four somali pirates. Not peg legged, hook handed, jolly roger flying vagabonds, but true to life murderous sons of bitches with legitimately nothing to lose. Captain Phillips tells the story of...Rich Phillips, the captain of the Alabama who was taken hostage by the pirates and forced to be their bartering chip.
It has been two years since the Destroyer was sent to earth by the Jotun and the Bifrost to Asgard was destroyed. Things seem to be back to "normal" as Heimdall watches the newly rebuilt Bifrost and Thor, God of Thunder, is fighting once again to bring the nine realms back into peace. However, the time draws near to the Convergance, a phenomena where the nine realms align and a great power stirs. Malekith, the leader of the once powerful Dark Elves, has bided his time for 5000 years and is now ready to claim a super weapon known as the Aether and plunge the realms into eternal darkness.
Would you believe…it’s up to Agent Maxwell Smart to keep the world clothed? KAOS, an evil crime syndicate, has created a new type of weapon that will destroy all of the worlds clothing and Smart is the only one “up” for the challenge.
Gary Supernova is a genius engineer who works with his far more adventurous and popular younger brother Skorch. Both of these guys are from the planet Bob and are part of a team that explore the cosmos and save the day. Well, Skorch does all that; Gary is just a nerd. When Skorch decides to visit Earth against his brother’s wishes, it is up to Gary to save the day and bust Skorch out of prison in order to ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH!!!
A great and ancient evil dwells deep within the waters of the Atlantic. And it hungers for oil rigs.
Ok, so that doesn't really sound evil. I'm going to try it again. In a world, inhabited by monsters who like oil. No, that's bad too. ok.. one last shot here: Brought to you by the Asylum, Atlantic Rim is NOT A RIP OFF OF PACIFIC RIM. See, Pacific rim is about monsters in the Pacific that have to be battled with giant robots. This movie, however, is about monsters in the Atlantic that have to be battled by giant robots that were ORIGINALLY made for search and rescue...Totally not for fighting monsters.
Good afternoon Tanked Matinee viewers! In case you haven't had the time to get to know me, my name is Ben and I am a gamer. Surprising revelation, I know, but I needed to say it. I also really love movies, hence my involvement with this site. So you would think that when these two passions are combined, it would be a buffet of fantastic and nothing could go wrong. Right?